EngRish, strange signage and other random oddities

So, here are a few pictures I thought you may enjoy....  a bit of engRish, some interesting signs and, well, just some weird things I've seen around!

I found these placards on a nearby building site.  Yes, a building site - with real builders (not children).  Don't think you'd ever catch blokey Aussie builders on a site where the safety instructions come in the form of cute cartoons.

Mmm Steaky pan... rumour has it the don't even sell steak...

Oh, I see, the 21 TH... not the 21st business fox!

What exactly IS the story of MashiMaro and why is it on the toilet seat??  (and what's with the plunger by the way?)

Yes, it certainly looks that way.

Somehow I doubt that this is referring to the Nymphs in Greek mythology... this was taken down a dodgy side-street in dodgy Itaewon.

  

It is what it is.... 

(FYI, the Korean text reads t-u-r-a-n-s-u  j-e-n-d-e).

Heheh, this one is great...  It's a note book for school kids.  The cover suggests three topics that could be studied in this book; Music, Korean and English.  HELF!

Bahahaha! The clothes were worthy of the store title too.

I have put this one in before, I know, but who can go past a business club called Dumb and Dumber!?!?

This is my absolute favourite!  Aside from the random "I Love Study" and "Best of the Year" remarks that brighten up this pencil case, check out what the panda is saying in the yellow square to the bottom right... 

Mmm... my tissue are feeling me.  Nice.

These lovely words are also on a packet of tissues.  Sweet, but what the hell are they trying to say??

Could anyone tell me what this dog is doing to the other dog?  I can't figure it out and don't know why it was on my shopping bag.

Phew, I'm glad this is a live restaurant and not an inanimate one... the food is much better when it's happening live.

This building is... well, I don't know what the hell it is... but it's around the corner from my house.

I LOVE folding paper Granes, don't you??

Singin' and Snowin' the time away

The weeks are flying by! I've spent four weeks in Korea already... where has the last month gone??  

Everything is still going well... I'm really enjoying life here! I feel like I'm settling into a bit more of a routine now too, which is good , and I'm really enjoying living by myself (which I was a bit worried about before coming here)- I've even found myself getting a little crafty with some painting and origami (some of which I have even made into fridge magnets! NERD!!) 

After the new year break last week the kids at school were totally ferrel on Monday and Tuesday, which made this week feel a little longer than it was... and a lot more difficult work-wise.  Really, at times, I struggled to get the kids to even sit down let alone open a book and actually learn something. It was so draining and I felt like I was having to be the 'mean teacher' the whole time... there were no stickers given out and no games played in class. I even made some boys write lines (hahaha!!).  Being a hard-ass in the classroom didn't feel so good, but the tough love thing did pay off in the end and the kids were absolutely gorgeous for the rest of the week! I guess there's a very fine balance between fun teacher and push-over and I think I was starting to slide into the latter - which wouldn't bother me so much if I didn't actually have to teach them something. Ah, it's a steep learning curve I'm on, but it's definitely getting easier with every day.

Anyway, turns out that this learning curve is thirsty work, so friday night we headed out to Now Bar followed by a spot of Noraebang action.  Yes, you're probably noticing a pattern developing that involves Now Bar and karaoke on Fridays... I have no rebuttal to this - it's just what we seem to do on Fridays! Something about blowing off steam and singing cheesy songs (badly) with a bunch of other foreigners is strangely alluring for some reason...

Me with Jeff, Tania and Ellen - These are my co-workers. They're awesome. 

Noraebang time!!  Ellen and I peruse the song list.  As usual, we open with "Obla di obla dah" (We think we're pretty good at it... although, I wouldn't really know because you can't hear yourself sing in these places - it's just everyone around you that has to endure your howling).

Oh, geeze...  I don't even know what we were singing, but it looks like it would've sounded real bad.

Jeff, Ellen and I have adapted a few hand gestures which we use to communicate our drinking intentions to each other... 

We drank and noraebanged late into the night but skipped the usual Mandu stop on the way home in favour of a few hours of much needed sleep as we'd arranged to go snowboarding the following morning.... yeah, it's smart to go out drinking the night before strenuous and potentially bone-breaking physical activity...  

On Saturday morning, six bleary eyed foreigners headed to the nearby slopes- this was my first time snowboarding, and it was fun fun fun!  Only half an hour away from home and cheap too - $10 for snowboard hire and $40 for lift passes! Sweet! Although, I might add, that I am so sore today I can hardly move... every single muscle in my body is killing me and I'm covered in bruises from stacking it down the mountain a few times (read several hundred times).  Sitting down is particularly painful as my butt is somewhat tender after countless falls on my behind.  Entirely worth it though!

I was trying to get a snap of a couple in matching outfits, but unfortunately they skied away (in perfect unison of course) before I got the chance... shame.  A good photo of the slopes though!

Oh, hahaha, yeah, I'm all laughs and smiles on the lift up to the top with Ellen and Kit - this was, of course, before I attempted to actually stand and move on a snowboard.  I wasn't so smiley after my butt collided with rock hard ice several times.

I already needed a rest - and I was only at the TOP of the first run!  Trying to stay vertical was so tiring that that the prospect of navigating a negative gradient was positively exhausting!

Eeek!  That's a scary sight for a first timer!

My first snowboarding experience was a little like my first day as a teacher... once again I was thrown in the deep end.  No ski school or flat ground instructions for me!  Jeff and the boys (all with a fair bit of snowboarding experience behind them), thought this was an appropriate starting point for me. I pretty much fell over every meter of the run the first time I tried it, but it definitely got easier and by the end I was making it all the way down with only one or two stacks along the way!

Oh, we were having so much fun! But an outing for Ellen and I isn't really an outing without an attack from Dumb and Dumber... so of course, we accidently got on the wrong ski lift.  Rather than taking us half way up the mountain to runs that we could actually tackle, it took us to the very TOP of the mountain... the place where all the really experienced snow-bunnies go.  There is a reason they go there and we inexperienced people don't... because up there is a triple diamond/black run.   Great.  We only realised what we'd done when we were about a quarter of the way up the mountain, but it was too late to get off the lift.  

We got off at the top and looked down and I nearly shat myself. It was veeeeerrryyyy steep.  Like when I say steep, I mean that there was a section that was pretty much a vertical drop... we couldn't go back down on the lift and it was too steep to try and walk down, so we did what any other person would do in our situation (if any other person was dumb enough to get themselves into that situation, that is)... we slid down on our butts.  It was seriously scary - aside from being ridiculously steep it was also icy which meant that there were several times when we couldn't even stop our graceful butt slide.  There were definitely moments when I wondered if we were going to slip too fast and turn into giant snowballs rolling, with increasing speed, down the mountain  like in the cartoons, but because we survived I can say that bits of 'death mountain' were actually kinda fun (well, sort of... like in a "I think I may die, so let's make the most of it and pretend I'm having fun when I go" kinda way).

Ellen, butt-sliding down the mountain of death...

Aside from the near death experience, we had such an awesome day!  I'll definitely be trying to get to the mountains a bit next season (apparently the slopes close soon... which means it must get warmer soon too - whoop whoop!!!)  

The story of Dumb and Dumber

In the days leading up to the recent Lunar New Year break I'd been hanging to get out and see a bit more of 'traditional' Korea.  Aside from Thursdays trip to the Changdeokgung Palace, everything I'd seen of the country so far has been really modern and shiny and flashy (like neon flashy, not show-offy flashy)... and unless I'm mistaken and Dunkin' Donuts and Paris Baguette are actually remnants from the Silla Kingdom, I think it's pretty fair to say that at least visually, Yongtong isn't exactly dripping with traditional Korean artifacts and buildings.

The 5 day break provided me with the perfect opportunity to get out there and check out what else Korea has to offer.  On Saturday Ellen and I decided to head to the nearby city of Icheon- popular for it's ceramics, rice and natural hot springs. Mmm... hot springs...

And here begins the story of Dumb and Dumber (AKA. Ellen and Amy)

Our day didn't get off to the best start when we got a bus into Suwon city (north-west from here) to get a bus to Icheon (south-east from here) only to find that the second bus drove pretty much right past our apartment building (at least an hour or two wasted with that)... Furthermore, the bus driver on the way to Suwon was apparently training to be an off-road drag racer, which made for a bumpy and often hair-raising trip, some serious back jarring and sore behinds (this is probably why he was given the oldest, most rickety bus in Korea to drive). However, the bus ride was made all the more entertaining by a little man with very big shoes sitting a few rows in front (see below for the covert picture of the year award).... 

Now, I know the quality of the pic isn't the best, but unless this man is on his way to tap-dancing class (and hasn't attached his tappy bits yet), I am going to conclude that he is wearing high-heeled (and platformed) court shoes due to a severe complex about his lack of hight - a complex he has obviously harboured since childhood, ( a speculation I have made based on the agility and ease in which he mastered the aisle and stairs of the dirt-derby-speed-racer-bus as it barely slowed down to let him off at his stop). 

After arriving in Icheon we headed to the "Ceramics Villiage" (a village where ceramics are made, not a village made out of ceramics, I believe).  Getting off the local bus at the "Ceramics Village" bus stop, we were a little shocked to find a "Not a Ceramics Village".  

Yes, it's a paddock with nothing in it... AKA a "Not A Ceramics Village".

There were some shops (and cool statues) opposite the "Not A Ceramic Village"... selling ceramics (surprisingly enough)... although we decided we didn't really like clay that much anyway, so we just stood in the shops to get out of the freezing cold...  Really didn't bank on standing in a bloody paddock when I got dressed that morning.

Me, being cold (opposite the paddock).

We decided to have a walk around and look for the mysterious village of ceramics. This was scary as it involved walking down a highway with no pedestrian facilities. Plus we were having trouble feeling our extremities by this point which made walking somewhat difficult and painful.  The village would want to be pretty bloody good after all the effort we put into trying to find it... but we didn't. Find it, that is... not until we got back on the bus into Icheon city where we passed it about 5 mins down the road - we'd just gone the wrong way (Dumb and Dumber strike again!). Meh, it looked kinda crap anyway and upon re-reading the guide book, which pretty much said it was as crap as it looked (why neither of us read the entire article rather than just the misleading first sentence remains a mystery), we figured we hadn't missed out on anything much by not getting there.  Besides, it was a bit of an adventure... into a paddock... but we did see pretty mountains, a stunning sunset and some  interesting statues.

Umm, what the..??? If you look just above and below the sign that the carving is holding, you may understand my curiosity.  This statue was outside a building we found which could be named  "The Building That Was Closed and May or May Not Have Contained A Village for Ceramics".

The not-so-happy-campers... jaded with their trip to a paddock - even if it was a kinda 'pretty-surrounded-by-snow-capped-mountains' type of paddock.

Isn't this the dude from the video game Crash Bandicoot or something?

Arriving back in Icheon city after dark, we kept our fingers crossed that our attempt to find the hot springs would not be as disastrous as the ceramic village attempt... (thank goodness everything in Korea is open 'til late!) 

We stumbled across this picturesque bridge and and frozen lake on the way.  

Ellen's crafty camera work...

When we finally made it to the spa place we were suprised to find that what we thought would be a "bring-ya-swimmers" type of place turned out to be a room full of naked women greasing us off for wearing bathers. 

**Can I just add that I haven't run off to some hippy-nudist commune or anything, the nakedness is the norm in Korean bath houses (Jjimjilbang)... but we didn't expect in this place for some reason.   (I'll write about my experience at the Jjimjilbang some other time as it really does require a post of it's very own). **  

So we followed suit, or rather, removed suit, and did what we went there to do... we walked outside into the minus 10 degree night (yes, incredibly cold... particularly without clothes) and spent hours soaking in steaming hot herbal spas, mud spas, green tea spas, salt water spas, charcoal spas (although the charcoal one did smell and look a little like sewerage). We soaked away the cold that had frozen our bones in the paddock and soaked away all the memories of the "Ceramic Village" (still gets inverted commas as I am not sure it (a) actually exists or (b) is deserving of the title 'village')... we were hoping for snow, but when none came, we soaked and soaked some more until all fingers and toes were sufficiently prune like. Then, warm, relaxed and satisfied that the day had not gone completely to waste in a paddock, grabbed some dinner and headed home where Dumb and Dumber live to do dumb things another day.

New Years Day, or, the day I got farted on...

Happy (lunar) new year!  Goodbye to the year of the Pig and hello to the year of the Rat!  It is new years day (Seol/Seollal) here in Korea and we have a 5 day weekend to celebrate (yah, 2 whole weeks after I started working... it's a tough life here I tells ya)!  It's totally different to new years in the western world - probably more like Christmas day as far as celebrations go (although they do celebrate Dec 31st / Jan 1st here as well) .  In Korea, the lunar new year holiday is a time to visit family and pay respect to bygone ancestors.  There is a mass exodus from Seoul as people travel across the country to return to their home towns - traffic is horrendous - apparently it is not uncommon for what would normally be a 5-6 hour drive from Seoul to Busan to take up to 24 hours during the new year break! 

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Some Koreans choose to break from tradition during this time and use the 5 day break to travel abroad  - so much so that flights and ferry trips into and out of of Korea are ridiculously expensive and booked up months in advance... needless to say, I missed the boat, so to speak, and have been spending the last few days wandering around in what feels like a deserted country.

So many little kids dressed up in their traditional Hanbok today - soooo cute!

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Last night Ellen and I decided we should hit the town to ring in the new year... but Yongtong had morphed into somewhat of a ghost town. Hardly anything was open and some of the neon signs had even been turned off (which is a seriously scary thing to see when you're in a country where even toilets have neon signs).  With no street parties or fireworks, we decided to head to the ever faithful Now Bar... surely the other foreigners in town (who would throw a party for a bowel movement) would be celebrating the occasion. Nope, not so much.  Maybe everyone had braved the traffic and headed out of town too?  So Ellen and I made our own little toast to the new year and headed home to read up on possible new years day activities.  We decided on Changdeokgung Palace in Seoul.

Front gateway of Changdeokgung Palace, which wasn't too busy considering it was one of few things open on New Years Day.

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After a massive trek to get to the palace (apparently when Seoul is deserted the roads are still packed and the bus lanes are open to private cars... and Ellen and I forget to check we are actually on the right subway train), we were happy to find that a lot of Koreans dress in Hanbok and visit traditional places such as the palace!

These two lovely ladies were kind enough to pose for us in their beautiful Hanbok. 

Gamsa-hamnida!

How cute is this kid!?!?! (Thank goodness for the dress... I would've sworn it was a boy otherwise!)

This is the artwork on the ceiling of the building in the above picture.  The picture doesn't really do justice to the amazing detail and vibrant colours (yes, I am an art critic in my spare time these days too... very talented girl I am).

It was such a beautiful sunny day... but don't let that fool you!  I have NEVER been so cold in my life... guess that's what you get for walking around for 6 hours in sub-zero temperatures.

And look!  There's still some snow on the ground 2 weeks after it last snowed!!

Yes that is a pond, and yes it's frozen solid (save a few spots where there was evidence of duck footprints and melted duck-belly shaped sections!)

Another frozen pond (it's such a novelty!) Kids were throwing chunks of ice and rock at it to try and break the surface (so glad they did... I wanted to but didn't want to get into trouble)... not even a crack was made though.

I want to squeeze this one and take it home!

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After hours of wandering around in the freezing cold (we actually bought a can of hot chocolate - they heat it up for you - in an attempt to thaw our freezing hands!), we headed toward nearby Insadong to find a place to eat and de-frost.  Being a tourist-y area a few places were open - but not many!  

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So anyway, we were innocently waiting for the little green man to allow us to cross the street but instead of getting a signal to go, a little Korean man standing in front of us wished us a happy new year in what I hope is not the traditional Korean new year greeting... He farted on us. Yes, he farted.  On us. Farted. So loudly, so unashamedly, he just let it rip and didn't even flinch... and nor did his friend (which makes the whole thing even scarier). A man - not a child, not a boyfriend, not a best friend, not a pensioner, but a total stranger in his mid-20s farted on us. He never bothered to check before or after the excretion - which is lucky for us as we were nearly on the ground in fits of laughter unable to believe that we just got farted on like it was the most normal thing in the world.  Welcome to the year of the Rat (maybe that should be the Dirty Rat).

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After our shock and laughter had subsided enough for us to walk again (I can't believe a dude farted on us), we managed to find a cosy pub / tea house and warmed ourselves with delicious home made teas and Bibimbap (rice mixed with vegetables and egg - very tasty).  As with every Korean meal, an interesting array of complimentary side dishes arrived... 

Top Left: "some sort of a stick off a tree" (courtesy of Ellens articulate nature) with oily prawns.  Top Right: Not entirely sure... looks like drain-hair, smells like drain-hair probably tasted like drain hair (the smell alone was enough to make me gag).  Bottom Left: Little dried fish... like whole fish... with little bones and little eyeballs... and a big, nasty taste. Bottom Right: The Korean staple dish, Kim-chi (cabbage, left to ferment in a spicy sauce in pots in the sun - smells like feet).

Me, bracing myself for the little fish... they vomit me but I tried them (please take note of that DAD)... and yes, I am aware that I look like Theodore from the chipmunks... with dentures.

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I can't believe we got farted on.... 

Tricks of the trade

Two weeks in and I think I'm starting to get the hang of this teaching thing a bit better...  Yes, I still feel like an impostor in the classroom and I have a long way to go (although I do have my own, patented, version of the hands-on-hips-showing-cross-face stance, with an optional wagging of the finger when called for), but it's definitely feeling less weird... except for the fact that I have to wear slippers when I work.  I wonder how anyone can take anyone seriously when they're trotting around with slippers on! (Mine are fluffy and blue with white and pink spots just incase you were wondering - I've received many comments on their beauty from students and fellow teachers, thank you very much).

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Here are some things I have discovered about teaching in the last week;

-Lesson #1.

• Teachers have to assess their students.  This means giving them exams.  
• Exams don't magically create themselves.  Teachers must do this.  
• Creating an oral exam for 5 classes with only 30 minutes notice is not an easy feat.
• Determining a grade for a student is difficult when you have not been instructed how to do so, or what constitutes as 'good', 'average' or 'poor' English.
• Giving all students near perfect scores seems to be an appropriate solution to the above problem.    
  

-Lesson #2.

• Teachers must give their students feedback.  This means giving them report cards.
• Report cards don't magically create themselves.  Teachers must do this.
• Writing reports for 40 students whose names you have not yet learnt is not an easy feat.
• Finding nice ways of saying "your child really annoys me" is also difficult.
• Writing 40 glowing reports seems to be an appropriate solution to the above problem.

My little class of two: Sally and Sabrina - creators of my pointy nosed giraffe-fish complex.

- Lesson #3.

• In order to teach, teachers must be able control their class. This calls for a skill set that I am yet to acquire.
• Using bribes such as stickers is an effective tool if carried out properly.  I have not yet learnt how to do this properly.  Sticker bribes cannot be administered too early in class as behavioural standards tend to deteriorate post sticker collection.
• Repetitive use of above bribe technique renders it ineffective and renders teachers poor due to excessive sticker purchasing.  
• New bribery methods must be imagined. Soon.

-Lesson #4:

• ALWAYS ignore an 8 year old when they start a sentence with "Teacher, Teacher... do YOU know what boys and girls do when they love each other?" for no apparent reason.
• ALWAYS confiscate pencil cases when they are being used as props to demonstrate said 8 year olds take on what boys and girls do when they love each other ("this one is the boy and this one is the girl... and then they kiss... and..." STOP!!!).
• After the above point has been carried out ALWAYS keep a close eye on all draw-able surfaces when said 8 year old is armed with a drawing implement and wants to illustrate 'love' further.

Sally:  Perpetrator of the "what people do when they love each other" episode and possibly the craziest kid I know.  

- Lesson #5.

• Hitting the bars is a mandatory activity for Teachers on Friday nights after school.
• Teachers like to party.

Ellen Teacher and Amy Teacher see how long they can keep their hands in the refrigerated built-in-table beer coolers (complete with flashing lights on the inside too!).

June Teacher sporting the latest Korean fashion - the beer mustachio.

 

Me, very happy with our $5 find !!

June shows us how its done (watch out for when you drink down to the wider bits in the glass... for some scientific reason unbeknownst to me, the beer shoots down your throat, or in Junes case, all over herself).

 The official photo stance of Korea;  Technically speaking, there should be a peace sign without a smile.  I have been taught this by my students as well... so it must be true.

I guess some things just never change - no matter where you are in the world.