The story of Dumb and Dumber

In the days leading up to the recent Lunar New Year break I'd been hanging to get out and see a bit more of 'traditional' Korea.  Aside from Thursdays trip to the Changdeokgung Palace, everything I'd seen of the country so far has been really modern and shiny and flashy (like neon flashy, not show-offy flashy)... and unless I'm mistaken and Dunkin' Donuts and Paris Baguette are actually remnants from the Silla Kingdom, I think it's pretty fair to say that at least visually, Yongtong isn't exactly dripping with traditional Korean artifacts and buildings.

The 5 day break provided me with the perfect opportunity to get out there and check out what else Korea has to offer.  On Saturday Ellen and I decided to head to the nearby city of Icheon- popular for it's ceramics, rice and natural hot springs. Mmm... hot springs...

And here begins the story of Dumb and Dumber (AKA. Ellen and Amy)

Our day didn't get off to the best start when we got a bus into Suwon city (north-west from here) to get a bus to Icheon (south-east from here) only to find that the second bus drove pretty much right past our apartment building (at least an hour or two wasted with that)... Furthermore, the bus driver on the way to Suwon was apparently training to be an off-road drag racer, which made for a bumpy and often hair-raising trip, some serious back jarring and sore behinds (this is probably why he was given the oldest, most rickety bus in Korea to drive). However, the bus ride was made all the more entertaining by a little man with very big shoes sitting a few rows in front (see below for the covert picture of the year award).... 

Now, I know the quality of the pic isn't the best, but unless this man is on his way to tap-dancing class (and hasn't attached his tappy bits yet), I am going to conclude that he is wearing high-heeled (and platformed) court shoes due to a severe complex about his lack of hight - a complex he has obviously harboured since childhood, ( a speculation I have made based on the agility and ease in which he mastered the aisle and stairs of the dirt-derby-speed-racer-bus as it barely slowed down to let him off at his stop). 

After arriving in Icheon we headed to the "Ceramics Villiage" (a village where ceramics are made, not a village made out of ceramics, I believe).  Getting off the local bus at the "Ceramics Village" bus stop, we were a little shocked to find a "Not a Ceramics Village".  

Yes, it's a paddock with nothing in it... AKA a "Not A Ceramics Village".

There were some shops (and cool statues) opposite the "Not A Ceramic Village"... selling ceramics (surprisingly enough)... although we decided we didn't really like clay that much anyway, so we just stood in the shops to get out of the freezing cold...  Really didn't bank on standing in a bloody paddock when I got dressed that morning.

Me, being cold (opposite the paddock).

We decided to have a walk around and look for the mysterious village of ceramics. This was scary as it involved walking down a highway with no pedestrian facilities. Plus we were having trouble feeling our extremities by this point which made walking somewhat difficult and painful.  The village would want to be pretty bloody good after all the effort we put into trying to find it... but we didn't. Find it, that is... not until we got back on the bus into Icheon city where we passed it about 5 mins down the road - we'd just gone the wrong way (Dumb and Dumber strike again!). Meh, it looked kinda crap anyway and upon re-reading the guide book, which pretty much said it was as crap as it looked (why neither of us read the entire article rather than just the misleading first sentence remains a mystery), we figured we hadn't missed out on anything much by not getting there.  Besides, it was a bit of an adventure... into a paddock... but we did see pretty mountains, a stunning sunset and some  interesting statues.

Umm, what the..??? If you look just above and below the sign that the carving is holding, you may understand my curiosity.  This statue was outside a building we found which could be named  "The Building That Was Closed and May or May Not Have Contained A Village for Ceramics".

The not-so-happy-campers... jaded with their trip to a paddock - even if it was a kinda 'pretty-surrounded-by-snow-capped-mountains' type of paddock.

Isn't this the dude from the video game Crash Bandicoot or something?

Arriving back in Icheon city after dark, we kept our fingers crossed that our attempt to find the hot springs would not be as disastrous as the ceramic village attempt... (thank goodness everything in Korea is open 'til late!) 

We stumbled across this picturesque bridge and and frozen lake on the way.  

Ellen's crafty camera work...

When we finally made it to the spa place we were suprised to find that what we thought would be a "bring-ya-swimmers" type of place turned out to be a room full of naked women greasing us off for wearing bathers. 

**Can I just add that I haven't run off to some hippy-nudist commune or anything, the nakedness is the norm in Korean bath houses (Jjimjilbang)... but we didn't expect in this place for some reason.   (I'll write about my experience at the Jjimjilbang some other time as it really does require a post of it's very own). **  

So we followed suit, or rather, removed suit, and did what we went there to do... we walked outside into the minus 10 degree night (yes, incredibly cold... particularly without clothes) and spent hours soaking in steaming hot herbal spas, mud spas, green tea spas, salt water spas, charcoal spas (although the charcoal one did smell and look a little like sewerage). We soaked away the cold that had frozen our bones in the paddock and soaked away all the memories of the "Ceramic Village" (still gets inverted commas as I am not sure it (a) actually exists or (b) is deserving of the title 'village')... we were hoping for snow, but when none came, we soaked and soaked some more until all fingers and toes were sufficiently prune like. Then, warm, relaxed and satisfied that the day had not gone completely to waste in a paddock, grabbed some dinner and headed home where Dumb and Dumber live to do dumb things another day.

New Years Day, or, the day I got farted on...

Happy (lunar) new year!  Goodbye to the year of the Pig and hello to the year of the Rat!  It is new years day (Seol/Seollal) here in Korea and we have a 5 day weekend to celebrate (yah, 2 whole weeks after I started working... it's a tough life here I tells ya)!  It's totally different to new years in the western world - probably more like Christmas day as far as celebrations go (although they do celebrate Dec 31st / Jan 1st here as well) .  In Korea, the lunar new year holiday is a time to visit family and pay respect to bygone ancestors.  There is a mass exodus from Seoul as people travel across the country to return to their home towns - traffic is horrendous - apparently it is not uncommon for what would normally be a 5-6 hour drive from Seoul to Busan to take up to 24 hours during the new year break! 

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Some Koreans choose to break from tradition during this time and use the 5 day break to travel abroad  - so much so that flights and ferry trips into and out of of Korea are ridiculously expensive and booked up months in advance... needless to say, I missed the boat, so to speak, and have been spending the last few days wandering around in what feels like a deserted country.

So many little kids dressed up in their traditional Hanbok today - soooo cute!

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Last night Ellen and I decided we should hit the town to ring in the new year... but Yongtong had morphed into somewhat of a ghost town. Hardly anything was open and some of the neon signs had even been turned off (which is a seriously scary thing to see when you're in a country where even toilets have neon signs).  With no street parties or fireworks, we decided to head to the ever faithful Now Bar... surely the other foreigners in town (who would throw a party for a bowel movement) would be celebrating the occasion. Nope, not so much.  Maybe everyone had braved the traffic and headed out of town too?  So Ellen and I made our own little toast to the new year and headed home to read up on possible new years day activities.  We decided on Changdeokgung Palace in Seoul.

Front gateway of Changdeokgung Palace, which wasn't too busy considering it was one of few things open on New Years Day.

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After a massive trek to get to the palace (apparently when Seoul is deserted the roads are still packed and the bus lanes are open to private cars... and Ellen and I forget to check we are actually on the right subway train), we were happy to find that a lot of Koreans dress in Hanbok and visit traditional places such as the palace!

These two lovely ladies were kind enough to pose for us in their beautiful Hanbok. 

Gamsa-hamnida!

How cute is this kid!?!?! (Thank goodness for the dress... I would've sworn it was a boy otherwise!)

This is the artwork on the ceiling of the building in the above picture.  The picture doesn't really do justice to the amazing detail and vibrant colours (yes, I am an art critic in my spare time these days too... very talented girl I am).

It was such a beautiful sunny day... but don't let that fool you!  I have NEVER been so cold in my life... guess that's what you get for walking around for 6 hours in sub-zero temperatures.

And look!  There's still some snow on the ground 2 weeks after it last snowed!!

Yes that is a pond, and yes it's frozen solid (save a few spots where there was evidence of duck footprints and melted duck-belly shaped sections!)

Another frozen pond (it's such a novelty!) Kids were throwing chunks of ice and rock at it to try and break the surface (so glad they did... I wanted to but didn't want to get into trouble)... not even a crack was made though.

I want to squeeze this one and take it home!

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After hours of wandering around in the freezing cold (we actually bought a can of hot chocolate - they heat it up for you - in an attempt to thaw our freezing hands!), we headed toward nearby Insadong to find a place to eat and de-frost.  Being a tourist-y area a few places were open - but not many!  

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So anyway, we were innocently waiting for the little green man to allow us to cross the street but instead of getting a signal to go, a little Korean man standing in front of us wished us a happy new year in what I hope is not the traditional Korean new year greeting... He farted on us. Yes, he farted.  On us. Farted. So loudly, so unashamedly, he just let it rip and didn't even flinch... and nor did his friend (which makes the whole thing even scarier). A man - not a child, not a boyfriend, not a best friend, not a pensioner, but a total stranger in his mid-20s farted on us. He never bothered to check before or after the excretion - which is lucky for us as we were nearly on the ground in fits of laughter unable to believe that we just got farted on like it was the most normal thing in the world.  Welcome to the year of the Rat (maybe that should be the Dirty Rat).

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After our shock and laughter had subsided enough for us to walk again (I can't believe a dude farted on us), we managed to find a cosy pub / tea house and warmed ourselves with delicious home made teas and Bibimbap (rice mixed with vegetables and egg - very tasty).  As with every Korean meal, an interesting array of complimentary side dishes arrived... 

Top Left: "some sort of a stick off a tree" (courtesy of Ellens articulate nature) with oily prawns.  Top Right: Not entirely sure... looks like drain-hair, smells like drain-hair probably tasted like drain hair (the smell alone was enough to make me gag).  Bottom Left: Little dried fish... like whole fish... with little bones and little eyeballs... and a big, nasty taste. Bottom Right: The Korean staple dish, Kim-chi (cabbage, left to ferment in a spicy sauce in pots in the sun - smells like feet).

Me, bracing myself for the little fish... they vomit me but I tried them (please take note of that DAD)... and yes, I am aware that I look like Theodore from the chipmunks... with dentures.

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I can't believe we got farted on.... 

I have a loyalty card at the local coffee shop. That means I officially live here right??

It's something like minus 10 degrees outside and to me, that's pretty bloody cold!!  I have never felt cold like it before but while it's very, erm, cold, it's not entirely unpleasant.  Although in saying that, I'm pretty sure my boogers froze while I was walking to work today... well, maybe not quite, but the disgusting globules of spit that dot the streets of Youngtong have certainly frozen.  I learnt this as one crunched under my feet on my walk home. Gross.

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I haven't even been here a full week and yet it feels like forever... and I mean that in the best way possible.  Somehow it just feels right.  I'm surprised at how easy it's been to slot in here so far, and while I am sure there will be a reasonable period of adjustment ahead, it feels like everything is as it should be. That I am where I should be at this point in time.  

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This week has been filled with a million new experiences - new country, new language, new apartment, new job, new friends, new food, new money, new rules, new weather...  Granted, everything is new and exciting right now, but sometimes new is not always exciting... sometimes it is just plain scary.  Surprisingly, this really hasn't been scary at all - it's just been really, really fun! I'm having an awesome time!

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I woke up for my first day at work to a city that was covered in a blanket of snow. It was beautiful...  What wasn't beautiful was that the front steps to my apartment building had morphed into an invisible back-breaking ice-slide that required the skill of a figure skater and the agility of a monkey to descend (why anyone would think that shiny granite is a suitable material for step-building in a country that rains and snows is really beyond me). Thankfully I was forewarned about the step issue and was able to not-so-graciously make my way to the bottom without serious injury. 

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The following photos were taken on the way to work, in the winter wonderland (aka: a park) 

right near my apartment.

Not the pyramids of Suwon, but the centerpiece of a fountain in the middle of the park.

Above is the bridge I walk across to get to work (which is located in the building on the right).  Very Korean-y no??

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As I walked into the school I saw a bunch of cute kindy kids running around. Then they saw me. Suddenly I was surrounded by a dozen little faces all expressing various degrees of excitement, bewilderment, shock and curiosity.  "What's your name? What's your name?" they yelled out.  "My name is Amy", I replied. "Oooohhhhhh Amy Teacher, Amy Teacher!" they chorused, and in a babble of Korean they ran away. Hmmm... interesting.

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Considering I'm new to the school and that I've never taught before, I was pretty sure that my first day, if not my first week, would be spent observing classes and learning the ropes.  Wrong!  After observing only 2 kinder classes I was handed a stack of text books and left to teach the next 5 classes on my own (and with most of my students being kids from about 7 - 13 years old, the kinder observations weren't exactly relevant)! At least I didn't have time to get too nervous, but talk about being thrown in the deep end!!!

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The first 10 minutes of my first class felt a little weird, but after evoking some tricks of the trade learnt in my TESOL training, I began to relax into it a little more.  Apparently the kids did too...  They were told to be on their best behaviour for the new teacher - a piece of information that eluded some of the boys about 20 minutes into the class.  As I was doing my very teacherly duty of writing a sentence on the whiteboard an almighty crack rang out across the classroom.  I turned around to see two boys lunging at each other fighting over a pencil.  The crack, as it turns out, was the sound of one boy slapping the other across the face.  TESOL did NOT cover this.  After separating them, reorganising the seating arrangements and inspecting a perfect, scarlet, hand-shaped welt on the poor kids cheek, I gave them my best cross face (whilst really trying to hold back a laugh) and was able to complete the rest of the class incident-free.  Phew. I guess it could've been much worse... and at least there were no tears (from me or the victim of pencil-stealing rage). 

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My work hours are laughable really... especially compared to what I was expecting. At the moment I'm working 25 hours per week including class preparation time -and because I'm on contract, I get paid the same amount as I would if I were working the maximum 35 hours a week! The longest day I have is a whopping 6.5 hours and the shortest is 1.5 hours.  My work day begins at 2 or 3pm and ends at either 5.00, 6.30 or 8.30pm depending on the day. New timetables will begin in March, so this dream schedule may not last beyond that, but for now I'm considering myself very lucky!!

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Currently, I have 7 different classes of various ages and English levels that I teach 2 or 3 times per week. I like them all for different reasons, but the most entertaining would have to be the class of just three 8 year old girls that I teach three afternoons a week. My physical appearance seems to be a constant source of fascination and amusement for most of the students (the kinder kids love my hair for some reason and stroke or relieve me of strands of it every chance they get), but these three girls are definitely the most vocal about it.  

Here are some of the questions and comments I've fielded from them over the last 4 days;

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Monday.

Candy/Sally/Sabrina : Amy Teacher, your nose is very pointy.

Amy Teacher : Really? O.K. Thanks.  Anyway, let's keep correcting your homework...

C/S/S : Yes, but Amy Teacher... Your neck is very long. Long like a Giraffe.

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Wednesday.

Amy Teacher : OK, so let's open your workbook to page 23.

Candy/Sally/Sabrina : Amy Teacher... your neck is still very long.

Amy Teacher : Well, yes... it would still be long.

C/S/S : But why?

Amy Teacher : Well guess that's just how I am... Maybe my mother has a long neck. I dunno... let's keep working.

C/S/S : But Amy Teacher! Wait!... Is your mother pretty?

Amy Teacher: Of course she is!

C/S/S : Is SHE a giraffe??

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Later Wednesday afternoon

Candy/Sally/Sabrina : Amy Teacher. Take of your glasses!

Amy Teacher : Why?

C/S/S : Oooh! Puuurrreeeessseee!!!!

Amy Teacher : OK (**take off my glasses**)

C/S/S : (**fits of laughter followed by intense staring into my eyes**) Amy Teacher, look up... look down... look this way... look that way.  Oooh. Your eyes are very blue... very beautiful!

Amy Teacher : Erm, thank you... 

C/S/S : Yes Amy Teacher... They are very blue and beautiful... and big... like a fish.

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Great. I'm a pointy nosed giraffe fish.  I'm told it's a compliment.  Whatever it is I don't care.  It's hilarious and I can't wait to see what next week brings!