Maekju = Beer: June 2008

In my never-ending quest to perfect my teaching style (or at least to stop the kids from jumping on the desks during my classes), I've been running a series of tests in behavioural control techniques. Recent trials include "cross teacher face" (often coupled with "hands on hips stance"), "everybody hands on heads", "clap, clap, clap", "pencils DOWN!" the old "threeeee.... twooo.... oooone", "silent treatment", sticker bribes, "the baby chair" and just flat out yelling.

The success-failure rate of these techniques vary greatly due to a high number of random variables (time of day, weather, sugar intake, severity of teachers hangover etc etc). The temporary nature of success yielded from the above trials left me searching for more effective techniques, so I decided that it was time to get creative (and maybe even a little bit mean). I am pleased to announce the discovery of one technique with a much higher success rate than previous attempts... it goes a little something like this: Kids are being bad. After unsuccessfully trying to quiet them, leave the room. Return with mobile phone. Pretend to dial a number- this usually distracts at least one or two of the rascals from their naughtiness.... but this is all you need for the trick to be effective. When the one or two are watching you, say loudly into the phone "Hello? Police? Hi, this is Amy Teacher. Yes, Erin/Lewis/Nick (insert name) is being very naughty in class today..." To this the kids generally shit themselves and stop the bad behaviour instantly.

This worked in my favour for a few weeks, but then I had to mix it up a bit to keep them on their toes... my new phone conversation starts like this: "Hello? Santa?...." You've never seen kids sit down and shut up so quickly - it's brilliant. The kids now believe that Santa is my good friend - I told them that we met in Australia a few years back while he was taking a much needed beach holiday post-christmas present deliveries. We hung out on the beach and I showed him around Melbourne. We've been great friends ever since. Santa has also allowed me to put little video cameras in the fire-sprinkler system in our classrooms so he can always see who is being naughty and who is being nice. Santa is my best friend.

Anyway, I figured it was time for an update on school life...

Mr. Lee (the owner/director of my school) and Bunny (my supervisor).

With bosses like these, it's little wonder why the kids are so crazy...

My Korean co-workers and all 'round great bunch-o-gals: Cindy, Winnie, Receptionist (no one seems to know her name but the kids call her 'the desk teacher'), Reina, Lailla and Janice.

FIELD TRIPS WITH THE KINDY KIDS

Candy and the coolest shades to hit Youngtong, en route to the Seoul Grand Park Zoo.

Kenny, demonstrating the ever popular Korean min-love heart symbol, at the zoo (full size heart symbol involves arms over your head...much like the 'M' of YMCA dance).

(FYI. I named Kenny after Kenny from the movie 'Kenny').

Lynne and Amy Teacher's "funny fish eye", at the zoo.

Learning about traffic safety at the Suwon Police Academy. I was a little shocked that they let un-licensed 5 year olds operate this heavy machinery... they were un-attached cars that worked up a reasonable speed... there was an accelerator peddle and a kill-switch... no seat-belts or restraints to speak of. Thankfully all limbs were saved.

E.C.C. OLYMPICS

Jongha - one of the naughtier, but more amusing kinder boys.

One day Jongha came into the classroom and said to me: "Amy Teacher, you're a good catch!" "Erm... nice of you to say Jongha...", to which he replied by grabbing his chin and yelling "Ooooooh baby!" - one can only wonder where his father (who apparently taught him this) learnt English...

The power-house of Tug-o-war.

Sooo cute.

E.C.C. MARKET DAY

The courtyard outside our school was converted into a flea market for the afternoon. The kids were given fake money (purchased with real money by their parents) and set free to buy a range of used toys, books and clothes donated by their families... Who could've known that balloons and hand-held wind-mills could be the cause of the 2008 Youngtong Kinder Riots??

RANDOM TID-BITS FROM AROUND SCHOOL

Erin (the little monster) in her special party dress...

Erin is the clumsiest, most awkward child on the face of the planet... I love her. I find her resemblance to Princess Fiona from Shrek is also quite striking. I may also mention that she was caught smuggling a book from the flea market book stall - the concept of exchanging goods for coupons was apparently too much to comprehend at the time... that or she was saving all her coupons for fairy-floss.

The boys of Moon Class... as you can see, the control I exert over these children is nothing short of amazing.

Ocean class hit the E.C.C. veggie patch. Cherry tomatoes for EVERYONE!

P.S. The other day, mid-phonics lesson, one of the boys in Ocean class, Jacky, raised his hand to ask a question (a small blessing as they normally just scream "teacher teacher teacher teacher!!" at me when they want something). Anyway, so a very serious faced little Jacky says "Teacher, I have a question"

"Yes, Jacky?"

"Are you a boy?"

"No, Jacky. I'm a girl."

I'm so glad that my gender has been unclear to this kid for the last 5 months...

Candy, Julie and Moon Young of Sun class... being their adorable little selves.

Sometimes I sing to them when they're colouring in - partly to teach them some songs and words... partly to keep them occupied so they don't run around the room screaming. Apparently there are some songs these little tykes really don't like (eg. 'In the jungle' and 'I'm a little tea-pot'), so when they're bad I bust out one of these numbers to annoy them. Recently, however, they've started retaliating with a little singing of their own - or rather they stand up and chant "SING NO! SING NO! SING NO!" until I'm laughing so hard I have to stop singing. Crafty little buggers.

This is my Sun Class boyfriend, Moon Young. He has the most adorably squishy cheeks in the world. He's been known to smuggle whole cherry tomatoes in his cheeks for up to 40 minutes before anyone noticed - which should give some indication of the amount of chub in those chops.

William and his Lion mask. William is the newest member of Sun class and the crappest colour-inner I've ever seen. He's adorable though - even if his displays of affection do involve very hard pinches and squeezes.

Me 'n' the Sun Class Lions. Rrrroooaaarrr.

Three of my favourite afternoon class girls, Lina, Sally and Amy, sitting on the air conditioning vents to make their dresses puff up like princesses... then complain that their legs are cold for a solid 10 minutes after. They do look cute though.

Finally, I wanted to show you a sight I see on a regular basis:

You may be thinking "what does this have to do with kids?". My answer to this, is nothing, however, it is a position that most of my students will undoubtedly be very familiar with by the time they're 25.... The Korean penchant for passing out on stairs really is baffling.

Until next time.

Recent blog slackness is once again duly noted... my lovely sister has even created a facebook group called "Amy should update her blog" (of which I am now a member), in an attempt to give me a swift kick out of cyber-laziness and back into bloggy-diligence. Given that I'm not one to turn my back on a good cause, here's one of what I hope to be a few updates on life in Happy Suwon... I've opted for photo-board style once again as it's the only way I can begin to cover what's been going on.

HONGDAE (or HONGDAZE as we like to call it)

Tucked away in Seoul, is a little place called Hongdae that houses a myriad of bars, pubs and clubs. It is considered mandatory for anyone living in Korea to partake in periodic wild nights out in Hongdae. The last friday of every month is "club night" where, for about $25 you can purchase an arm-band that gives you a 'free' drink and 'free' entry into just about any club in the area. When one goes out in Hongdae they must party the night away until the busses and subway starts running again in the morning to take them home... at which point the prospect of sitting on public transport for over an hour is so unappealing, money is pooled and extra people are squished into cabs for the long ride home (thus defeating the purpose of staying til 7am, yet never stops it from happening). During my first venture to Hongdae we visited a number of bars, including an 80's bar (the name of which escapes me now... perhaps it's 80's Club), that had Milli Vanilli AND INXS on vinyl - really, I was like a pig in poop.

BUDDHA HAD A BIRTHDAY

In May, we had 2 long weekends in a row (oooh yeah!). One, was for Children's day and the other was to celebrate Buddhas Birthday... (no, I'm not sure how old he turned this year). Buddha likes to get his party started a week early with a few lantern festivals around the country, so I went to Insadong in Seoul with my friends Darian and Darryn to check it out on the Saturday... shame the festival didn't actually start until the Sunday... however, we did get to see a few lanterns that had been put up in preparation. I really ♡ lanterns (maybe almost as much as I love cherry blossoms).

Disappointed with the lack of lanterns to look at, we wondered around Insadong for a while. I like Insadong as it's one of the few areas of Seoul I've been to that has a traditional feel to it (although, it is a fairly touristy-traditional feel). There are a lot of old-style buildings, restaurants, shops and tea-houses in they alleys that run off the main street, all selling 'traditional' Korean crafts etc (if you can call a Hanbok-wearing Hello-Kitty mobile phone charm traditional... but there are a lot of calligraphy, ceramic, book and antique shops too). Anyway, the main drag of Insadong is one of the only areas of Korea I've been to without a million 7-11 style convenience stores dotted along the street at 5 meter intervals - and better still, there is not a Paris Baguette or Dunkin' Donuts in sight (which is less than I can say for every other street in Korea)... there is, however, a Starbucks on the main street of Insadong. Booooo. BUT, the reason I mention this is that there was such a hoo-ha about a Starbucks opening in such a traditional area, that it was a condition of opening that the company name be written in Hangul on the storefront rather than in latin script... it roughly reads "Su-Ta Bok-Su Ko-Pi". Love it!

Not too far from Insadong you can also find this little gem - the Chonggye Stream, which is definitely one of my favourite places to spend time in Seoul. The stream, that runs through the centre of the city, was covered over by development for decades (?), but was re-opened a few years ago to be used as a public recreation space... it's just really beautiful and peaceful area of the city.

INTERNATIONAL FESTIVAL

Foreigners aren't always loved in Korea... we look funny, we tend to drink a lot and we don't really understand a lot of the social customs of Korea, so we probably unwittingly offend the locals from time to time. So we decided to do some image maintenance and show the local Koreans that we're not all the scary drunks we appear to be. We decided that it was time to give something back to the community... A group of foreign teachers living around Youngtong managed to organise an 'international' festival to run alongside a market day being held by the local YMCA (no mean feat given the language barriers we face here!). So one Saturday in May, a gaggle of foreign teachers (not sure what the collective noun would be) from the Youngtong area set up stalls near the YMCA flea market with free activities for the local kids. There was paper airplane competitions, colouring in competitions, hair-wraps, sports, drawing - everything! I was working on the face-painting site with 4 other girls and WOW did we have kids lining up to get our crappy artwork on their faces!! - Even when a few Korean girls from the YMCA set up their own face-painting stand near us and the kids realised these girls had artistic skill far superior to the foreigners. It was so much fun - although I'm sure a few kids were wondering what the hell they had painted on them... see exhibit A:

Despite the fact that this kid is still in a pram and therefore isn't really qualified to pass judgement on my art work, I couldn't help but notice her look of "W.T.F?" when she saw the flowers on her arm and the rabbit on her hand. I did some awesome spiders (even if I do say so myself), but I wont be quitting my day job to become a face painter - even if I wasn't the worst there... My buddy Joe painted a robot on this kids face (being a male, he thought he was more qualified to do this than we were)... well, this robot was so terrible it looked like a rag-doll. He told the little boy's dad that it was an "American robot" and retired his paintbrush then and there... The local's loved us despite this.

SUWON FOLK VILLAGE

Me'n' Darian at the Folk Villageeeee (this is how the word 'village' is said by koreans - I'm not kidding, if you want to get to a village of sorts by cab, you have to say villageeee to be understood - good friends of mine live in youngtong villageee, so I get to say it a lot)

I don't know what to say about the village - I guess it's the Sovereign Hill of Suwon.... but, in typical Korean style, there were a lot of things at the village-eee that one wouldn't expect from a 'traditional' village. The above picture and the fact that the folk village has an amusement park speaks for itself and the sheer randomness this country can bring - humorously strange things in stranger locations .

MONKEY BEACH

Another night out in Seoul... this time, at a club called Monkey Beach in Apgujeong. Monkey Beach followed a farewell dinner for my lovely friend Darian... A group of about 30 of us went to an all you can eat and drink restaurant (salad bar, seafood, meats, pasta beer, wine and spirits and more - all for $25!) then stumbled our way to the club...

All that needs to be said about this photo is that there is a cocktail in that bucket. A cocktail with 12 shots of tequila sunrise goodness. A cocktail with 12 shots, that only costs 12,000 won (about AUD$12.10). A cocktail with 12 shots, that only cost $12 and some very thirsty people. The only other thing that needs to be said about this photo is that the cabbie had to pull over a few times on the way home for our mate James... to, erm, de-cocktail.

R-16 FESTIVAL

The R-16 festival was an urban arts festival and b-boy competition held in Suwon. Yes, I went to an international breakdancing competition in Korea -bahahahaha! It was so fun - and the breakdancing really was world class! (in my humble breakdancing opinion). 'Crews' (see, I'm down with the lingo) from 15 countries were competing for the title, which Korea unsurprisingly won... little rigged perhaps?- I was sure Japan or France had it in the bag. Anyway, I love how Koreans can fit cartoons into the most unlikely situations....

Me'n'Trav with the 'boy mascot' (could you get any LESS b-boy??)

The crowd at R-16... The Korean MC liked to say 'aiii'iite' at the end of his sentences.... the American MC made up a new word: he said the 'R' in R-16 stands for 'Respect' then he said it also stands for 'Recognise'... then he actually said "Respecognise". Oh, how we laughed. It's my favourite new word.

AUSTRALIA WEEKEND

Last weekend, Claire (my friend from home who came to Korea to take a job at my school at the start of May)our buddy Trav (who is another Melbournian we met over here) and I, while waiting to meet some friends in Itaewon, Seoul, decided to head to an Aussie bar in the search for a Coopers Pale Ale. Now, I'd like to say that this was the first Australian ANYTHING I've been to in the 5 months I've been here, and I'm not going to make a habit out if it.... but it really was nice to sit down and eat beetroot in a hamburger while watching a bit of AFL on TV (even if they didn't have pale ale). Anyway, I'd heard rumors that this bar was owned by the old drummer from the Chiorboys.... turns out the rumors are true - as you may or may not have noticed from the above picure.

The following day, Claire and I joined a bunch of our American friends to watch Australia Vs USA in Womens Soccer - just another wonderful event to take place in Happy, Harmonious Suwon. Not wanting to be outdone by our friend with a U.S. head-bandanna, we sacrificed the last of our Aussie flag stickers and got ourselves down to the shops for some green and gold ribbon... We were the ONLY Aussie supporters there, so LUCKY we had some flare to show it (and lucky we were able to convert some korean kids and old men to our side... they liked us so much, they even shared their lunch of kim-bap with us!)... too bad Australia lost the game though - perhaps our chanting wasn't loud enough??